Captain Amercia is a Hydra Agent??.. Lol whatevs

It started yesterday... Outrage swept the internet, the paper, the media, and soon the entire world! A longtime symbol of integrity, bravery, and everything that's ever been truly Amercian about our country-- Captain America is an undercover agent for Hydra.

...Don't worry, everyone. It's a lie.

No, really, it is. We checked..

Turns out, the whole thing is just one big conspiracy, and you wouldn't believe who is behind it!..Let me break it down for you:

I'm sure you've all heard tell about how the government tattooed Control-Freak on it's forehead by passing a law that tells superheroes: "Because of your extraordinary power, all your agency are belong to us. You can only save lives when we want you to."  Half the Avengers did not agree with this law, so the government sent the rest of the Avengers out against them-- Highly suspect if you ask me. So basically, they unfairly subjugate superheroes under the false pretense of restoring balance by saying; "You destroy everything when you fight aliens, you're just always fighting." THEN upon acquiring this power, they instantly send the superheroes who obey them against the superheroes who do not. Effectively starting yet ANOTHER war and destroying even more stuff...

Sounds a little like a Hydra move, no?

Anywhoo, Captain America led the half of the team that was against the government. Now, get this: A lot of people, thousands and thousands of them, look up to the red-white-&-blue hero-- Even after this whole duke-off between two halves of the same group of good guys, people still admire Captain America. In fact, they think he's cooler than ever. 

Que cowardice in the government. 

When folks idolize someone, they start trying to be like them. So if thousands of people admire Captain America, and Captain America goes against the government for being unfair; the government fears it may lose control over it's sheeple. (ie. sheep + people) ... But what can they do? Captain Amercia has gone to another country, going after him would be an act of war against the country that is harboring him. And they can't send no secret assassin, he's too tough for any other superhero to defeat, so what can they do?

Easy. They just do the same thing a vindictive 13 year old would do to someone on the internet who got their goat: They can't attack them physically because they don't know where they are, so they ruin their lives as much as the can on the site-- Or in other words, the government has begun to spread lies about the famed superhero in hopes of turning their sheeple away from possible rebellion. 

That's right.

Captain America being a Hydra agent is a government lie.

Oh, they'll pull all sorts of fraud evidence out of their magic hats to try and prove this to skeptical Captain America lovers. They'll even use the fact that Captain America saved that Winter Soldier guy as proof.

Just because Captain America helps Bucky, doesn't mean he works for Hydra. 
Just because I helped Catnip and Bluebird, doesn't make me a Hydra agent. 

Don't buy in to the lies.

Now, in case some people read this and start rolling their eyes like; "Oh, Lloyd's just a government conspiracy theorist." I'd like to remind people that I literally checked these facts. Hydra infiltrated SHIELD. They've also gotten into the government-- I'd list names here if I could, but I'm not that good at finding stuff out.

I've just found a lot of evidence that they are.

Lloyd Out!

I Was An Alarmclock ~ The Life and Times of Lloyd

Last month I boycotted International Superhero Day.
I know that seems a little upside down, since I AM a superhero, but civilian me checked with superhero me, and we both agreed it was stupid to celebrate the holiday when all superheros ever do nowadays is fight among themselves and each other.

So technically, the boycott was a PARCHEESI movement.

Anywhoo, I still don't know what the ugly Hydra chip thing in my neck is, and neither does Batman. ..But this morning, it was beeping at me. Not just regular kind of beeping either- More like, "Hey, I'm a bomb" beeping.

Now, lacking the ability to die and being half asleep in bed, I merely anticipated being thrust into sitting position by the explosive force of a bomb detonating on the back of my neck.. I failed to acknowledge the fact that, even if I can not be fatally injured, I can still feel pain. I also did not consider that my bed was not bomb-resistant, and should the chip in my neck explode, it would set fire to my bed, which would soon catch the walls, and eventually burn my house down: Leaving me homeless and in my pajamas.

Thankfully, none of this actually happened.
As a matter of fact, the beeping ceased just as suddenly as it started.

Checking the time, it was like 9:00 in the morning. I consider this to be the time of day when you shouldn't actually be awake. More like roll over, see your room is light, take a deep contented breath, gratefully acknowledge how well you slept and how cozy your bed still is, then silently consider everything you have to get done today, and innocently drift back to sleep while so doing... This is not the time of day I think you just actually wake up at.

So, if this Hyrda chip is merely a glorified alarm clock that will see me relentlessly slapping the back of my neck every morning trying to shut it up, then no. I want it gone right now. Maybe it is a form of torture set to induce self hatred, or make you cautious of your own limbs- which at any moment could start blaring like an unstoppable car alarm.. I don't know.

Lloyd Out!