Halloween Problems

Lock the windows! Bolt the doors! Activate every security system known to SHIELD! 

Halloween begins at midnight tonight, and doesn't end until midnight tomorrow night!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it sounds like I'm overeating- Aaaand I know some people like Halloween. 

"Candy!" they'll say, 

"Dress-up!" I'm reminded, 

"Harmless pranks!" comes a voice from a corner.

While it's true Halloween maybe fun for some people, in the super hero world, it is:

Don't worry, I'm writing to you from a super safe location in the bottom of my favorite closet! 

It seems to me that what makes Halloween so much fun for normal people is the prospect of being scared silly by something that doesn't exist.. But for superheros such as myself and many, many others, we have no such luxury. Every mutation, alien, and super-powered creep known to imagination REALLY EXISTS for us and ALWAYS STRIKES DURING HALLOWEEN!.... It's the best time for it you see. There are so many goofballs roaming the streets dressed as one thing or another, a real thing can just walk on by without ever getting noticed. Not to mention some citizens get it into their heads that it would be fun to beat up a real hero or villain if ever they spot one.

Seriously, I was attacked by a 5-year old Sonic Thunder and his older sister "Loki" a year ago-- While I was in the middle of trying to stop mutant monster from destroying the town!

Yes, there are girls who dress like guys during Halloween.. I've even done it myself.

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Psst. 

For the record: The real Sonic Thunder is somewhere in his early 40s and is actually Lavender's super-villain father. The Mythical Gang and I have never had dealings with him personally, but apparently he's a 'big name' who causes a lot of trouble for some big name superheros, like Superman and who-not... He's also the hilariously smooth-talking, quick-witted kind of guy who thinks himself too good to work with other villains-- And why shouldn't he? According to record, he's been at it since he was 17 and has never been caught! Though he did go into a brief retirement after marrying Lavender's mother, who I understand was actually a superhero. 

After she died though, he came out of it again and later married a super-villain woman who already had a super-villain son of her own, and together Sonic Thunder and the lady had Lavender's super-villain little sister... Yeah. Everyone in Lavender's family is a super villain (Except Lavender, who lives with me now) because I can only imagine what it must be like at home::

Awful, right?

PS. She wants it to go one record that her Dad is okay with her choice. The only ones she has problems with are her literally evil step-mother, step-brother, and half-sister.

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I know, I know, I seemed so psyched for Halloween back in 2012, but things change-- Actually, they didn't, I just forgot because we stayed home that year. It was pretty fun because instead of going door to door, we trick-or-treated at each other's rooms. It worked out great, The Headmaster's freaky scientist guys didn't catch us, and MGAP was not unleashed upon the world before the world was ready for them! Everybody won!

Not to mention another thing I forgot: You see, every year about this time, a group of classic-monster based freaks will emerge from the sewers and try to capture Genovia. Supposedly, a drop of Martian blood is the only thing that can unlock the door to their horrific nightmarish world. We've had to deal with them every year for the past.... However long it's been since I got my powers.

Okay, some seriously macho readers out there may be wondering:

"What's so bad about one drop of blood?"

Well, my friend, you might as well be asking "What's so bad about global warming?" or "What's so bad about the ice age?".. It's not the thing it's self, it's the end result. The whole world will be covered in creepy Halloween-ish monsters! Also, I'm a tad concerned because of how this thing is 'Martian' specific. Why only Martians? Who made this door? How did they know about Martians anyway?

I never intend to find out... EVER!

Some secrets are best left secret!

So, if the problem is for Genovia, why am I hiding?... Simple. Erik lives here too and Halloween is his favorite time of the year. Be afraid.. Be very afraid!

Lloyd out!