"Kree"-ative, Nick.. Really.

"On Dec. 2, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will finally reveal that its mysterious blue man from outer space — the one whose rejuvenating blood saved the life of Director Phil Coulson is a member of the humanoid Kree race."

COVER UP! GOVERNMENT COVER UP I TELL YOU!!!!

The above was a professionally released newsletter from SHIELD, trying to shed light on the publicly asked question: "How did Phil survive?".

Now, I'm not going to go so far as to say aliens don't exist, because we all know that they do-- And admittedly, the Kree are blue, but I smell foul play. I smelled it when my father, Techno Guru, was called upon to help SHIELD with some data files and revealed to me what was then top secret information, that Phil's life was saved by the transferring of blood from a blue, healing alien.

...Yeah. I don't believe it!
Where was this alien when the Helicarrier was attacked? More importantly, where was I?
I'll tell you: I WAS DEAD! DEAD IN THE HALLWAY! I mean, what are the odds of that?!

Now, now, now, I'm probably just overreacting. I'm sure there is a blue alien, just like SHIELD says, and that he happily gave his blood to Phil for the accomplishment of the greater good. ......

Oh wait, the alien DIDN'T give it willingly! According to the reports my father found, the alien was DEAD TOO!!! I can't tell if this is just the greatest coincidence in all the world, or if it's the creativity of a warped mind whose initials are NICK FURY!!!

Tell me Nick, where DID this convenient alien corpse come from? Do you just crate it around magically behind your stupid eye patch in case of emergencies!?! No? Well, then you naturally took Phil to the hospital- Or wherever you were keeping this said alien? How was Phil magically able to cling to life after being stabbed through the heart? NOBODY IS BUYING IT!!!!

Admit it, you fraud!

YOU STOLE THE BLOOD OF A BLUE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CASUALTY IN THE HALLWAY!!!

Lloyd IS OUT!