Halloween Problems

Lock the windows! Bolt the doors! Activate every security system known to SHIELD! 

Halloween begins at midnight tonight, and doesn't end until midnight tomorrow night!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it sounds like I'm overeating- Aaaand I know some people like Halloween. 

"Candy!" they'll say, 

"Dress-up!" I'm reminded, 

"Harmless pranks!" comes a voice from a corner.

While it's true Halloween maybe fun for some people, in the super hero world, it is:

Don't worry, I'm writing to you from a super safe location in the bottom of my favorite closet! 

It seems to me that what makes Halloween so much fun for normal people is the prospect of being scared silly by something that doesn't exist.. But for superheros such as myself and many, many others, we have no such luxury. Every mutation, alien, and super-powered creep known to imagination REALLY EXISTS for us and ALWAYS STRIKES DURING HALLOWEEN!.... It's the best time for it you see. There are so many goofballs roaming the streets dressed as one thing or another, a real thing can just walk on by without ever getting noticed. Not to mention some citizens get it into their heads that it would be fun to beat up a real hero or villain if ever they spot one.

Seriously, I was attacked by a 5-year old Sonic Thunder and his older sister "Loki" a year ago-- While I was in the middle of trying to stop mutant monster from destroying the town!

Yes, there are girls who dress like guys during Halloween.. I've even done it myself.

************

Psst. 

For the record: The real Sonic Thunder is somewhere in his early 40s and is actually Lavender's super-villain father. The Mythical Gang and I have never had dealings with him personally, but apparently he's a 'big name' who causes a lot of trouble for some big name superheros, like Superman and who-not... He's also the hilariously smooth-talking, quick-witted kind of guy who thinks himself too good to work with other villains-- And why shouldn't he? According to record, he's been at it since he was 17 and has never been caught! Though he did go into a brief retirement after marrying Lavender's mother, who I understand was actually a superhero. 

After she died though, he came out of it again and later married a super-villain woman who already had a super-villain son of her own, and together Sonic Thunder and the lady had Lavender's super-villain little sister... Yeah. Everyone in Lavender's family is a super villain (Except Lavender, who lives with me now) because I can only imagine what it must be like at home::

Awful, right?

PS. She wants it to go one record that her Dad is okay with her choice. The only ones she has problems with are her literally evil step-mother, step-brother, and half-sister.

************

I know, I know, I seemed so psyched for Halloween back in 2012, but things change-- Actually, they didn't, I just forgot because we stayed home that year. It was pretty fun because instead of going door to door, we trick-or-treated at each other's rooms. It worked out great, The Headmaster's freaky scientist guys didn't catch us, and MGAP was not unleashed upon the world before the world was ready for them! Everybody won!

Not to mention another thing I forgot: You see, every year about this time, a group of classic-monster based freaks will emerge from the sewers and try to capture Genovia. Supposedly, a drop of Martian blood is the only thing that can unlock the door to their horrific nightmarish world. We've had to deal with them every year for the past.... However long it's been since I got my powers.

Okay, some seriously macho readers out there may be wondering:

"What's so bad about one drop of blood?"

Well, my friend, you might as well be asking "What's so bad about global warming?" or "What's so bad about the ice age?".. It's not the thing it's self, it's the end result. The whole world will be covered in creepy Halloween-ish monsters! Also, I'm a tad concerned because of how this thing is 'Martian' specific. Why only Martians? Who made this door? How did they know about Martians anyway?

I never intend to find out... EVER!

Some secrets are best left secret!

So, if the problem is for Genovia, why am I hiding?... Simple. Erik lives here too and Halloween is his favorite time of the year. Be afraid.. Be very afraid!

Lloyd out!

This is Rogue 2, we've found them.. Repeat, we've found them...

Hail the conquering slacker! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la!!

I suppose you're wondering about my long absence, my sing-song intro, and the Star Wars reference title. Well, I'll break it down: It's because we caught the Old House freak scientist guys. That's right! The Headmaster and his freakazoid cronies are in jail!! Whoo-Hoo!

Okay, I lied. They're not in jail, they're actually in SHIELD's custody, but I guess that's just as good- Even though I don't trust SHIELDs ability to retain their captives for more then a few seconds, but meh. For the moment, we are free of chaos.

Turns out, Vanna is the Headmaster's own daughter. Can you believe that?! Poor baby.

Anyway, everyone in the Myth Mansion is fine. The kids have really improved over the past year, they're no longer crazy-out-of-control balls of energy, but are now decent members of society and full blown super heros. Some of their powers have been going wonky and they've been feeling sick as of late. According to the Headmaster, it's because their DNA is unstable- And that's what he needed Lav, Gen, Peg, and I for.. Sheran, Erik, Vanna, and Marrietta seem fine though, so I don't exactly believe him.

Catnip and Bluebird have joined SHEILD, sadly.. So, I never get to see them anymore. But I'll get post-cards every holiday, so I know they're happy in their work.

Anywhoo, we're looking into getting MGAP super names. Any suggestions? They have to be mythical creatures. The kids came up with their own during the mission to catch these science-do-dos, but some of them just don't stick--- And considering they wore their Halloween costumes instead of the super suits (that we are still working on), the press doesn't refer to them by those names either.

Here's what we've been working with so far::

Erik wants to be called Phantom, though there's some serious debate on whether or not it fits him. I personally think Monster Boy would be better.... Or Goblin...

Jewel wants to be called Hippogriff, but I personally think it's too close to Gryffin; and we already have a Gryffin.

Miko wants to be Wyvern- But I think that sounds more like a girl's name.

Marrietta has a lot of robotic traits, but we've decided to call her Mermaid anyway since we've needed a Mermaid in the group for a long, long time. She has water powers, so technically, it fits.

Vanna wants to be called Ghost because of her skin is as white as a paper sheet-- While perfect for power and appearance, I'm iffy on this one because I don't want to start introducing creepy/Halloween-like mythical names into the group. (Goblin for Erik being the only exception.)

Takan has claimed the position of Elf, even though that's what I really wanted for myself! =(

Sheran would be a more appropriate Phantom in my mind due to her shadowy powers, but like I said, Erik wants that name. So, so far, she's got nothing.

Phil Coulson is ALIVE@!!!

I don't know how!.. nobody knows how.

But he is. 

This means one of three things: Nick lied to us, Phil is a zombie, or my being dead in the Helicarrier hallway was not completely unknown.. I tried to corner Nick Fury on this and figure out which of the above was the truth, but he didn't say much. He's kinda short with me ever since I got the MGAP kids adopted. We've mostly stopped interacting with one another until Genovia brought Phil's not-death to my attention.

Now, I want to shake Nick Fury by his ears.

Nick was like:

And I'm all::

If you've never felt the complicated emotion of being joyful at one person and perfectly livid at another all at the same time, I'm al a loss to explain it to you. I've come to the conclusion that Nick is a serious control freak and I don't like him at all! From this moment on, the scissors have closed upon the string of our connection, I will not cater to him a second longer. My probation has long since expired, there's NO need for him to be breathing down my neck and monitoring my life anymore forever. Good day you, one-eyed bald-man! Good bye, good luck, and good riddance!

So yeah, Phil's alive... YAY! 
But I can't call him and invite him out for "I missed you, glad your not dead like I thought you were" doughnuts because I'm breaking away from SHIELD..... And apparently he's real busy as part of some "Agents of SHIELD" thing now. 

Dunno what that's all about, and I would look into it if I cared, but anywhoo! Happy bout Phil, mad at Nick.

Lloyd out! 

Busy busy busy!

...Hi! Just wanted to let ya'll know I'm not dead!
I've just been crazy insane busy. We're looking for foster/adoptive parents for the MGAP kids. It isn't right for them to be raised by nonsensical teenagers. Of course, they'll still be members of the Mythical Gang, we'll check on 'em daily and train 'em on the weekends, but they need real, loving families to take care of them.

We've totally fried our partnership with SHEILD. Nick hates me now because I won't let him have custody of the MGAP kids. He actually threatened to take them from me by force, but I told him if he so much as thought about it (Genovia can read his mind) I would pack them through a portal to a distant planet faster than he could tell his men to fire. That seemed to shut him up-- He knows I can do it after all.

He kinda gave me a look like this:

Sooooooo, yeah. Busy busy busy.

Anywhoo! Not dead. Will post funny stuff and whatnot sometime later.

Lloyd Out!

Happy Easter Weekend!

HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND EVERYBODY!!

Never let it be said that super heroes don't enjoy holidays- Because we do!

Today, I wanted to see just how many jellybeans The Hulk could hold in his mouth at one time-- It was a lot, trust me. I made the jellybean people very happy, and Tony Stark too, who decided to invest stock in jellybeans after he heard what I was planning to do... Cheater!

Of course we let Hulk swallow the jellybeans after the experiment. I mean, what's the fun in spitting them out? And during the sugar rush, Hulk wanted to see just how far I could go if he threw me, so I got a taste of flying and a wind burn! It was so much fun! =D

Here's to hoping the rest of you also have a fun Easter weekend!
Hang out with friends and family, dye eggs and fingertips, find said eggs the following morning or the following month (depending on how good you hide them), and be happy!

Lloyd Out!

Super Heroes in Space!!!

Ah, outer-space: The endless cosmos of stars, planets, and super-mega-power-hungry villain freaks.
You know, people think it's so cool when super heroes go to fight crime in space. I mean, what's cooler then fighting an alien invasion, right? Or rescue an alien civilization? It's because out there the possibilities are endless. They've got as much advanced technology and superior snobbery than we on earth can ever hope to achieve!
It's the clash of cultures that people long for; two world collide and unlikely friendships are formed! The technology, the special abilities, the weirdest looking races imaginable; It's classic Star Wars and Star Trek stuff, and you know, those movies are famous for a reason.

The fact is, people just love outer-space. They love the idea of it and what might be found out there. You can literally explore for an eternity! It's awe-inspiring! Young heroes dream of going there one day... That's great, kids! "Aim High" I always say, I'd just like to point out that (for the record) outer-space is also a very dangerous and inconvenient battlefield. Seriously, I'd like you to name one thing that didn't happen to the crew of the Enterprise. Bet ch'ya can't. And "death" doesn't count because the guys in red die all the time and even Spock died once!

Now, I'm no skeptic. I love outer-space just as much as anyone, if not more-- I mean I have a book of planets, my own telescope, an inter-galactic space-traveling twin sister; not to mention 4 out of the original 8 Mythical Gang members are aliens. ((You know, before the genetically-altered children joined the group, which scientifically-enhanced humans are also pretty cool to people, but we'll talk about that later..))

It's just that despite the awesomeness of space, super heroes don't always enjoy the seriously away-from-home task of joining galactic wars and correcting seriously-bizarre-and-ridiculously-mega-foreign policy as much as you'd think. I mean, it's always cool to meet a new alien race, roam their world, and help out; we're always happy to help out- But when a super hero is called into space for any reason, one must consider the gravity of the situation.. Or rather the lack there of.

Space is... Spacious.

It wouldn't take much to get separated from your group and be lost for all eternity in the galaxy. Especially with the recent addiction some heroes have to Black-Hole diving. Black holes are not safe. I know it's human nature to be curious. And yes, it is possible that Black-Holes can be short cuts across the cosmos, I mean, stranger things have happened-- ((There are people in this world who can shoot webs from their wrists and shoot lasers from their eyes, okay? I myself heal the instant the damage is done; you could behead me and it wouldn't make a difference.))/ But it's just as likely, if not more so, that a Black Hole is a space tornado that'll suck the living daylights out of you.

And their are other things too: The lack of air, asteroids- And bare in mind that you advanced alien opponent has had light years longer and better technology to figure out how the universe works. You're at a disadvantage. Really, Earth is as good a place as any to have an adventure. Sometimes when you go too big, you loose the wonder-factor and gain mind-boggling-irritation factor instead.. The same is true of alternate dimensions and the nine realms of Asgard. Fair warning.

Now, I'm not saying this to discourage anyone, I'd just like you to be prepared for what awaits you so you're not violently disillusioned when your twin sister drags you and a few of your gang members up to the mother-ship to meet the man-eating flower-headed head honcho and track down an intergalactic criminal who stole an important magical scroll and can temporarily absorb people at the molecular level so he has full access to their powers, memories, and life-force all against their will and before he can deliver this powerful scroll to the most creepy taffy-pulled zombie alien in the known universe he merges the scroll into one of your younger sister's freind's molecules thus endangering said friend's very existence if ever evil zombie guy should find out.. *DEEP BREATH*

...What I mean to say is, I'm in the middle of the most irritating space-adventure I've ever been on in my entire life! I'd love to give you more details about it later, but for right now the slime-ridden captain is on deck.

Lloyd Out!

P.S Sorry about the killer run-on sentence, Mom. I am ashamed.

Gibberish - Another Language!

Gibberish is a language you know, and I sort-of understand it because I speak it fluently. Sometimes it amazes my co-workers just how well I can speak and understand gibberish; like one time back on the Helicarrier, during Loki's Fish-Bowl Days-- Or maybe a few seconds after, Captain America and Iron Man were having an exchange over the comlink that went something like this::

Tony Stark: *scientific flim-flam* 

1. Steve Rogers/Captain America: Hey, speak English.

But I knew what Tony meant, so I decided to break it down:

1. Lloyd: What he means is: If you pull the thingy-majig then it will start a whatch'yama-callit and cause the wirly-twergle to bloopin-flop. 

There was silence... Then came Tony's voice:

1. Tony Stark: You see the red lever? When I tell you to, pull it. That will give me enough time to get out.

Clearly he was impressed with my abilities, but never quite got the chance to tell so as I was shot by Hawkeye some 20 seconds later. It's so nice to be admired by your peers, isn't it? =)

Lloyd Out!