New Face of Crime

So, though The Headmaster and his scientist cronies are still at large, they (more or less) gave me their word that they would not cause anymore trouble. I don't exactly trust them on it, but it's been a few years and I haven't heard anything from them, so I shall remain optimistic.

I like to imagine they did the responsible thing and checked themselves into a mental facility, have spent these past few years re-evaluating their lives under professional supervision, and are now cheerfully working towards a golden future of upstanding citizenship and good doing--- Rather than creating a whole new batch of genetically engineered children to face the ones I stole in an epic battle which will ultimately decide the fate of the world; which that is a very real possibility now that I think about it.

Anywhoo, the new face of Thorn-In-Lloyd's-Side is one I'm actually familiar with; in a much larger, uglier, and crazier package... Produced by the same company I guess, but embracing the modern bite-sized revolution found in all products now days.

Ironically enough, my new How-The-Speck-Do-You-Cause-Every-Single-Crime-I-Appear-To-Be-Fighting-Lately is actually Lavender's boyfriend. The new one she met on her trip.

Now, I told her she should stop dating villains. She didn't listen.
I told her dating a villain from another state would be asking for trouble. She didn't care.
I told her not to invite him to the state she lived in. She did it anyway.
I told her not to go on a date. And off she goes.

She said it went well, but they had conflicting interests and that was that-- But now, here he is: Intentionally causing disasters in OUR state just so we'll show up, so he can flirt with Lav and match wits with me. The first time we saw him standing on the top of a pile of wrecked cars, I kinda gave Lav this look:

Unfortunately do to a series of unexpected tricks and his freakish knowledge of how to pick locks, AND drive cars, he somehow manages to escape every time. So, I'm putting the word out:

Be on the looks out for a young man, probably about 23 or 24 years old. His name is Prankster: A sort of gothic punk version of the Joker, but with a smirk instead of a insane toothy grin, and more colorful/clashing clothing than a fashion designer could find in the combination of all the fabric scraps in their trash can.

You'll know him when you see him.

Lloyd Out!

Lavender, Phoenix, and I have decided to start a protest against all the quote-unquote "heroes" who are fighting one another. We stayed up very late last night, tossing around snappy acronyms to be the name of our movement group. We thought if we used a real word to state our mission; like SHIELD does, then what we were trying to accomplish would be easier for people to remember...

...I'm hoping our name does better than SHEILD though, because honestly, who in the world knew that S.H.E.I.L.D stood for "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division"? I sure didn't!

We tossed around a lot of things, the most memorable being:

SIMPLE - Superhero Infighting Makes Power Look Egotistical.

...Phoenix came up with that one. Though snappy, it didn't make the cut because it didn't explain what we were trying to accomplish with the movement.

SSI - Stop Superhero Infighting

My suggestion. We didn't go with this one because SSI is not a real word-- Plus with things like "NHL", "AOL", and "GOP" to remember, ours would be pretty forgettable.

MISSISSIPPI - Mission Is 'Stop Superhero Infighting', Simply Stated; It's Pathetic, People! Ick!
We had a long, humorous discussion when Lavender suggested that. Lav said it would be perfect since Mississippi is a state, we could use the the term "state of mind" as a promotional boost to our cause. We probably would have gone with it, but "Mississippi is a state of mind" sounds more like we are the ones in the wrong, rather than the infighting superheros.

STINK - Superheros Think Infighting Needs Kudos
"Kudos" meaning "respect". Really snappy and almost perfect, but again, not quite descriptive of our mission. It also misrepresents the superhero mindset and doesn't give any distinction between heroes like us, and the ones that are fighting.

Anywhoo, after thoroughly debating the matter, we finally settled on an unforgettable name of my choosing:

"Agents of PARCHEESI"

People Against Rising Chaos, Essentially Eradicate Superhero Infighting

Snappy, right?

Lloyd Out!

Super Mega Awesome ART DUMP OF POWER!!!!

...The title of this post was intentionally misleading.
Yes, this is an art dump.
No, it is not super, mega, awesome, or powerful..

..In fact, I was going through my things; belated New Year's cleaning I guess, and I discovered millions and millions of pictures I drew millions and millions of years ago. Before I show them to you, I ask you not to berate the art style. It is extremely old: And though I have improved greatly since drawing these, we all start somewhere, and someone else in this big wide world may be at the same level now that I was at then..

Anywhoo!

TA-DA!

This is me.

This is Lavender; 

my ex-arch enemy and the perpetual Yin to my Yang, nevertheless one of my best friends. 

This is Genovia; my dearly departed Marsian friend-- 

And when I say 'dearly departed', I don't mean dead. I mean 'away at Medical School'.

This is the willful traitor who went back to her home planet to start dating. 

We call her Dragon.

This is yet another traitorous alien scum who thought progression in life is more important than my emotional well-being, and chose to "expand his career" by joining some big name super heroes.

We call him Griffin; he's Dragon's twin brother, ironically enough.

This is Fairy; our darling peacekeeper and fashionista.

She was stolen from me by Popstar Pegasus, who needed a new fashion designer. Grrr..

This is our fiery Phoenix; she's the embodiment of the Element Of Fire itself.

And of course, you remember the MGAP kids. They're all grown up now, making their own way in the world and spending time with their foster families, but never too busy to lend The Mythical Gang their help whenever we need it... Well, I mean, what's left of the Mythical Gang anyway. *pouty face*

You remember Erik, of course. 

The patience-testing prankster we just couldn't live without.

This is Tekan; 

A level-headed gentlemen with Spock-ish intrigue to be sure.

Duuude! It's Miko.

Our surfer-speaking cool kid. He always knows what's awesome to do.

This is dainty Jewel;

Living proof that dignity and lady-like mannerisms can still blend with epic superhero spunk!

Ah, our spicy Sheran;

She's retained her spirit and strangely snarky charm. I love this kid so much!

Marrietta-- Er, Aquamarine, actually.

Resident of Atlantis. Discovering her birth family inspired us to find foster families for the other MGAP kids as well--  Turns out it was all for the better, because these kids have turned into some really well-behaved heroes who love their families.

This is Vanna;

...Er... It's a long story.

Oh lookie! I finally have those pictures of the creepy scientist guys I stole the MGAP kids from! I know I promised these pictures a million, million years ago--  But to be fair, that's exactly how old these pictures are.

Dr. Dreadway is the balding cheekbone dude.

Dr. Vince is the long haired crypt-keeper.

and Dr. Trag is that bulky bald fellow.

EW! Heebie jeebies just from looking at them! BLECK!

Dr. Neela and The Headmaster.. 

Took us awhile to figure out these two were married, and Vanna is their daughter. Oi! That was seriously the most emotionally exhausting, creepazoid, freakish insane mission I have ever been a part of...

...Yeah, don't like to think of it.

Moving on!

And last but not least, where would we be without a group photo of everyone?

Oh, your poor eyes. No, I'm just kidding!

Well, I hope you enjoyed those.

Lloyd Out!

Being a Registered Superhero, Avengers Disassembled, and a few other topics... ANYWAY!

So, I understand the Avengers have gotten into a bit of a disagreement with one another, which has coincidentally resulted in half the group dividing asunder. I don't know where on earth Hulk and Thor stand in this conflict, but maybe I can cling to the hope that they just know better than to pick sides among friends.

Ironman and Captian America, however, lead the charge with different views on a newly announced governmental bill...

I don't fully comprehend what exactly started the Aiv-G's off on one another because there was an excessive amount of large words in the explanation process-- BUT I'm vaguely under the impression the government is sick of heroes flying in, destroying everything, then flying out on a blazing trail of glory... Which kind of makes sense, actually, I mean you help with the party but you don't help with the clean up? ANYWAY the government wants superheroes to register with them: Meaning they'll call when they need help, but otherwise, stay out of it.

Granted, heroes "fly in" when there is absolutely nobody else on the planet can do anything about the problem, they also save over half a million lives and even the whole world from lunitic aliens with subjugation issues.. And granted, after fighting off an army of radioactive ninjas, the heroes are pretty much exhausted-- DROP. DEAD. EXHAUSTED!

Nevertheless, speaking on behalf of a few civilians I know, I should think there would still be something for a superhero to help rebuild after a week or four of resting up, so why not come back and lend a constructive hand?...

... I dunno. Honestly, I can't judge. I have instant healing abilities and cause little to no property damage when thrown at a brick wall. 

Of course, I understand the heroes side of the argument too. I mean honestly, are you under some delusion that there would be less of a mess if we didn't show up? Hehehe no. Just picture all that building rubble as people rubble. Aliens don't want you, they want the planet. Nuff said.

Yet I digress. This is not about whether it's right or wrong to make a mess on behalf of saving the world and not helping clean it up afterward-- Though personally, I think as far as that goes, Ultron should have been an "After-Super-Battle Clean-Up Droid" rather than a "Replace the Super-Hero Entirely Droid" which would have saved everyone A LOT OF TROUBLE and Ironman calls himself a genius. puh!--- But again, that is really not the point. 

What Ironman and Captain America are disagreeing about is whether the government should be involved in summoning forth a legion of superheroes whenever they see fit, whether the heroes wanna help, don't wanna help, or simply can't help; being little more than a body to throw at the enemy due to colds or leg injury.

Yet, I'm reminded, we are talking about the same people who were gonna nuke Manhattan just because it was being invaded by aliens-- Like that's never happened before. Not to mention the fact the portal would still be open and the aliens were pretty much mutant boogers anyway, so a little radiation wouldn't have hurt 'em at all and they just would have kept coming-- But again, I digress. 

ANYWAY!

The government wants heroes to register... Or maybe they just want the Avengers to register. I'm not sure. I haven't really heard anything about it personally because, like I said, my super-battles don't damage anything but myself. Nevertheless, this is not the first time I've heard the term "Registered Superhero" in my life. 

In fact, my younger sister, Vortex, is a registered superhero who wears it proudly and recommends it on a regular basis. My twin sister; Galaxia, however, is adamantly opposed to registering, and is even considered a phantom menace in some countries for lack of governmental respect... 

In her defense, she's a living rip in space; hence a piece of outer-space, hence it would kinda be ridiculous for her to respect one single government on one single continent of one single planet.

And, I think we can all agree, the people of Earth have joined their alien neighbors in becoming stark-raving control freaks:... The only difference being, we like to subjugate each other instead of other planets. But that's REALLY beside the point.

...Wow, I'm bad at staying on topic.

ANYWAY!

So that's what I hear is currently going on with my superbuds.. Sad really. And not to jump to conclusions, or point fingers, or do anything really, but I smell another hero vs. hero duke-out shaping up here. 

Lloyd Out!

Hydra Update...

Hello once again my good friends, funny neighbors, creepy stalkers, and new aquaintances who have been so unfortunate as to have stumbled here by mistake. It has been a year. A complete, full, exact to the very date year since Hyrda began hunting for me... Thus far, there has been no progress.

Bat-Buddy has not come any closer to discovering how to remove the chip, and Nick (who IS alive, ah-ha-ha-ha I KNEW IT!) refuses to tell me what it does-- As if that somehow is supposed to make it all better. Look here punk! (And I know you read this, Nick) Just because I don't know what it is, doesn't means it's not there and not giving me trouble, OKAY?!

Anyway, I'm very glad it is winter because wearing turtlenecks in the summer is TORTURE!!.. Nevertheless, those times when I'm safe inside my house and my neck is killing me, I'm reminded that a tacky looking symbol of an ugly octopus is still on the back of my neck:

Just look at that unattractive little thing...

Makes you think of a warning label in a sushi restaurant, doesn't it?

Bleh!

But at least I can say that I literally have eyes on the back of my head, which makes me laugh!

************

We interrupt your regularly scheduled nonsense to bring you this important disclaimer!

--And Lavender, looking over my shoulder as I typed, just asked me something I think is important to address: Why do I keep using My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic gifs in order to describe my face about certain things? Well, that's simple:

We now return to your regularly scheduled nonsense...

************

You know, after giving it some thought, I don't think I'd let them take it out even if they did know how. Oh, why you ask? Because, I don't think I trust anyone in SHIELD enough to let them preform surgery on me.. They can't do anything right unless there is a laser cannon and some government conspiracy involved! 

In any case, I'm probably the safest person for it right now. I mean, I don't even know what it does. Whose to say they won't take it out of me and end up loosing it to some ninja thief, or misusing it for themselves? I stay far enough away from both idiotic organizations, so neither Hyrda nor Shield would ever get it again. The whole "You fight over it, you loose it" play! 

HA! How do you like that, Nick Fury? Stick that in your "Confidential Information" and file it! 

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH--- Alright I'm done.

Lloyd Out!

"Kree"-ative, Nick.. Really.

"On Dec. 2, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will finally reveal that its mysterious blue man from outer space — the one whose rejuvenating blood saved the life of Director Phil Coulson is a member of the humanoid Kree race."

COVER UP! GOVERNMENT COVER UP I TELL YOU!!!!

The above was a professionally released newsletter from SHIELD, trying to shed light on the publicly asked question: "How did Phil survive?".

Now, I'm not going to go so far as to say aliens don't exist, because we all know that they do-- And admittedly, the Kree are blue, but I smell foul play. I smelled it when my father, Techno Guru, was called upon to help SHIELD with some data files and revealed to me what was then top secret information, that Phil's life was saved by the transferring of blood from a blue, healing alien.

...Yeah. I don't believe it!
Where was this alien when the Helicarrier was attacked? More importantly, where was I?
I'll tell you: I WAS DEAD! DEAD IN THE HALLWAY! I mean, what are the odds of that?!

Now, now, now, I'm probably just overreacting. I'm sure there is a blue alien, just like SHIELD says, and that he happily gave his blood to Phil for the accomplishment of the greater good. ......

Oh wait, the alien DIDN'T give it willingly! According to the reports my father found, the alien was DEAD TOO!!! I can't tell if this is just the greatest coincidence in all the world, or if it's the creativity of a warped mind whose initials are NICK FURY!!!

Tell me Nick, where DID this convenient alien corpse come from? Do you just crate it around magically behind your stupid eye patch in case of emergencies!?! No? Well, then you naturally took Phil to the hospital- Or wherever you were keeping this said alien? How was Phil magically able to cling to life after being stabbed through the heart? NOBODY IS BUYING IT!!!!

Admit it, you fraud!

YOU STOLE THE BLOOD OF A BLUE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CASUALTY IN THE HALLWAY!!!

Lloyd IS OUT!

Family!

So, I'm sick this week--
But that's okay. Know why? Because when I am sick I don't have to worry about fighting crime. In fact, I get to stay home with my superhero family; and because we love one another so much, we share everything! Even our germs!

So me and my fantastic family are all sick this week, wheezing and coughing like millions of those old cartoon characters who have their eyeballs pop out of their heads every time they cough!

More good news! My twin sister is back from the galaxy far, far, even further than the one you are now thinking of, away! I'm ecstatic! Of course, having been in space so long, she's a little unused to me, but she still loves me. I can tell from all the fawning and hugging she's constantly giving me!
I've really missed that.

I mean, I'm sure you have all noticed how incredibly negative my last few posts have been. I guess it was because I surrounded myself with a bunch of big names who don't like me very much. Now I'm back with people who love me and whom I love! I couldn't be happier!

I'm so happy to have my twin back! My family is truly the greatest!