About Me

ABOUT ME:
I'm the second born in a family of superheros, but the very last out of all 12 to have acquired any powers: As of 2005, I discovered I have the ability to heal instantly, as well as heal others via a kiss or tears. More recently, I've also discovered I have unpredictable adrenaline-based teleportation.
I am the semi-leader of a semi-group of alien friends called The Mythical Gang. The only humans in my E.T club are myself, my ex-arch enemy Lavender, and Pegasus. We've raised 7 genetically-enhanced child experiments, and are still making new friends with new super-kids. Together we get into all kinds of trouble; meeting big-name super heros and villains along the way!

And with that recipe for disaster, you know this blog is gonna be fun!

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Being a Registered Superhero, Avengers Disassembled, and a few other topics... ANYWAY!

So, I understand the Avengers have gotten into a bit of a disagreement with one another, which has coincidentally resulted in half the group dividing asunder. I don't know where on earth Hulk and Thor stand in this conflict, but maybe I can cling to the hope that they just know better than to pick sides among friends.

Ironman and Captian America, however, lead the charge with different views on a newly announced governmental bill...


I don't fully comprehend what exactly started the Aiv-G's off on one another because there was an excessive amount of large words in the explanation process-- BUT I'm vaguely under the impression the government is sick of heroes flying in, destroying everything, then flying out on a blazing trail of glory... Which kind of makes sense, actually, I mean you help with the party but you don't help with the clean up? ANYWAY the government wants superheroes to register with them: Meaning they'll call when they need help, but otherwise, stay out of it.

Granted, heroes "fly in" when there is absolutely nobody else on the planet can do anything about the problem, they also save over half a million lives and even the whole world from lunitic aliens with subjugation issues.. And granted, after fighting off an army of radioactive ninjas, the heroes are pretty much exhausted-- DROP. DEAD. EXHAUSTED!

Nevertheless, speaking on behalf of a few civilians I know, I should think there would still be something for a superhero to help rebuild after a week or four of resting up, so why not come back and lend a constructive hand?...

... I dunno. Honestly, I can't judge. I have instant healing abilities and cause little to no property damage when thrown at a brick wall. 

Of course, I understand the heroes side of the argument too. I mean honestly, are you under some delusion that there would be less of a mess if we didn't show up? Hehehe no. Just picture all that building rubble as people rubble. Aliens don't want you, they want the planet. Nuff said.

Yet I digress. This is not about whether it's right or wrong to make a mess on behalf of saving the world and not helping clean it up afterward-- Though personally, I think as far as that goes, Ultron should have been an "After-Super-Battle Clean-Up Droid" rather than a "Replace the Super-Hero Entirely Droid" which would have saved everyone A LOT OF TROUBLE and Ironman calls himself a genius. puh!--- But again, that is really not the point. 


What Ironman and Captain America are disagreeing about is whether the government should be involved in summoning forth a legion of superheroes whenever they see fit, whether the heroes wanna help, don't wanna help, or simply can't help; being little more than a body to throw at the enemy due to colds or leg injury.

Yet, I'm reminded, we are talking about the same people who were gonna nuke Manhattan just because it was being invaded by aliens-- Like that's never happened before. Not to mention the fact the portal would still be open and the aliens were pretty much mutant boogers anyway, so a little radiation wouldn't have hurt 'em at all and they just would have kept coming-- But again, I digress. 

ANYWAY!

The government wants heroes to register... Or maybe they just want the Avengers to register. I'm not sure. I haven't really heard anything about it personally because, like I said, my super-battles don't damage anything but myself. Nevertheless, this is not the first time I've heard the term "Registered Superhero" in my life. 

In fact, my younger sister, Vortex, is a registered superhero who wears it proudly and recommends it on a regular basis. My twin sister; Galaxia, however, is adamantly opposed to registering, and is even considered a phantom menace in some countries for lack of governmental respect... 

In her defense, she's a living rip in space; hence a piece of outer-space, hence it would kinda be ridiculous for her to respect one single government on one single continent of one single planet.


And, I think we can all agree, the people of Earth have joined their alien neighbors in becoming stark-raving control freaks:... The only difference being, we like to subjugate each other instead of other planets. But that's REALLY beside the point.

...Wow, I'm bad at staying on topic.

ANYWAY!

So that's what I hear is currently going on with my superbuds.. Sad really. And not to jump to conclusions, or point fingers, or do anything really, but I smell another hero vs. hero duke-out shaping up here. 

Lloyd Out!

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Hydra Update...

Hello once again my good friends, funny neighbors, creepy stalkers, and new aquaintances who have been so unfortunate as to have stumbled here by mistake. It has been a year. A complete, full, exact to the very date year since Hyrda began hunting for me... Thus far, there has been no progress.

Bat-Buddy has not come any closer to discovering how to remove the chip, and Nick (who IS alive, ah-ha-ha-ha I KNEW IT!) refuses to tell me what it does-- As if that somehow is supposed to make it all better. Look here punk! (And I know you read this, Nick) Just because I don't know what it is, doesn't means it's not there and not giving me trouble, OKAY?!

Anyway, I'm very glad it is winter because wearing turtlenecks in the summer is TORTURE!!.. Nevertheless, those times when I'm safe inside my house and my neck is killing me, I'm reminded that a tacky looking symbol of an ugly octopus is still on the back of my neck:



Just look at that unattractive little thing...
Makes you think of a warning label in a sushi restaurant, doesn't it?


Bleh!


But at least I can say that I literally have eyes on the back of my head, which makes me laugh!

************
We interrupt your regularly scheduled nonsense to bring you this important disclaimer!

--And Lavender, looking over my shoulder as I typed, just asked me something I think is important to address: Why do I keep using My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic gifs in order to describe my face about certain things? Well, that's simple:


We now return to your regularly scheduled nonsense...

************

You know, after giving it some thought, I don't think I'd let them take it out even if they did know how. Oh, why you ask? Because, I don't think I trust anyone in SHIELD enough to let them preform surgery on me.. They can't do anything right unless there is a laser cannon and some government conspiracy involved! 

In any case, I'm probably the safest person for it right now. I mean, I don't even know what it does. Whose to say they won't take it out of me and end up loosing it to some ninja thief, or misusing it for themselves? I stay far enough away from both idiotic organizations, so neither Hyrda nor Shield would ever get it again. The whole "You fight over it, you loose it" play! 

HA! How do you like that, Nick Fury? Stick that in your "Confidential Information" and file it! 
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH--- Alright I'm done.

Lloyd Out!

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

"Kree"-ative, Nick.. Really.

"On Dec. 2, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will finally reveal that its mysterious blue man from outer space — the one whose rejuvenating blood saved the life of Director Phil Coulson is a member of the humanoid Kree race."

COVER UP! GOVERNMENT COVER UP I TELL YOU!!!!
The above was a professionally released newsletter from SHIELD, trying to shed light on the publicly asked question: "How did Phil survive?".

Now, I'm not going to go so far as to say aliens don't exist, because we all know that they do-- And admittedly, the Kree are blue, but I smell foul play. I smelled it when my father, Techno Guru, was called upon to help SHIELD with some data files and revealed to me what was then top secret information, that Phil's life was saved by the transferring of blood from a blue, healing alien.

...Yeah. I don't believe it!
Where was this alien when the Helicarrier was attacked? More importantly, where was I?
I'll tell you: I WAS DEAD! DEAD IN THE HALLWAY! I mean, what are the odds of that?!

Now, now, now, I'm probably just overreacting. I'm sure there is a blue alien, just like SHIELD says, and that he happily gave his blood to Phil for the accomplishment of the greater good. ......

Oh wait, the alien DIDN'T give it willingly! According to the reports my father found, the alien was DEAD TOO!!! I can't tell if this is just the greatest coincidence in all the world, or if it's the creativity of a warped mind whose initials are NICK FURY!!!

Tell me Nick, where DID this convenient alien corpse come from? Do you just crate it around magically behind your stupid eye patch in case of emergencies!?! No? Well, then you naturally took Phil to the hospital- Or wherever you were keeping this said alien? How was Phil magically able to cling to life after being stabbed through the heart? NOBODY IS BUYING IT!!!!

Admit it, you fraud!
YOU STOLE THE BLOOD OF A BLUE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CASUALTY IN THE HALLWAY!!!

Lloyd IS OUT!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Family!

So, I'm sick this week--
But that's okay. Know why? Because when I am sick I don't have to worry about fighting crime. In fact, I get to stay home with my superhero family; and because we love one another so much, we share everything! Even our germs!



So me and my fantastic family are all sick this week, wheezing and coughing like millions of those old cartoon characters who have their eyeballs pop out of their heads every time they cough!

More good news! My twin sister is back from the galaxy far, far, even further than the one you are now thinking of, away! I'm ecstatic! Of course, having been in space so long, she's a little unused to me, but she still loves me. I can tell from all the fawning and hugging she's constantly giving me!
I've really missed that.


I mean, I'm sure you have all noticed how incredibly negative my last few posts have been. I guess it was because I surrounded myself with a bunch of big names who don't like me very much. Now I'm back with people who love me and whom I love! I couldn't be happier!

I'm so happy to have my twin back! My family is truly the greatest!


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thor, Loki, Mario, Luigi, Elsa, Anna, and what they all have in common..

Went window shopping the other day.... And saw this:


At first I thought it was a couple of very convincing cosplayers, but then Thor looked up and saw me. We hadn't been in contact with one another since the first fiasco in which the Avengers were formed, but somehow he recognized me... Guess my blue suit is not something one can easily forget.

Anyway, he beckoned to me, so I came inside to say hello. Admittedly, I was surprised and suspicious to see both Loki and Thor is one place not beating the scrap out of one another, but decided not to ask about it-- In the end I didn't have to. Thor explained that he and Loki are on, eh... Truce, I guess? Apparently something happened back home that put them on "Okay-terms" for the time being.

So, Thor starts talking, mentions the food, and everything like that. And though I AM listening to him, Loki and I happen to meet each other's gaze. Que instant awkwardness! He give me that fakey smile of his, briefly alluding to our last meeting and how foolish he found me. I just give him a forced grin and a brief wave, but I'm mostly just kinda staring at him like:


I mean, clearly he hasn't forgotten our little game of Tic-Tac-Toe-- But I've also still got Phil Coulson's troubles fresh in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy Mario and Luigi are working on being okay again, but I'm in no mood to become chummy with either of them.

I mean, they think I'm someone's Court Jester
and you already know how they look to me:


So yeah, Thor inquired after the group and my welfare, but I didn't have anything to tell him. He got the idea that I have been lonely lately and insisted I stay and have lunch with the two of them. I should have made excuses, I should have asked him if he was crazy, I should  have flat out refused!... But I didn't. None of these things crossed my mind at the time... In fact, his invitation was so sudden and enforced that my mind drew a blank. So I sat down.

..... On that little chair in the corner, beside Thor.

Thanks to Jane, Thor pretty much had the idea wen it came to ordering food. Now, you can imagine what exchanges were given here. Some stuff from Thor to Loki, some one slightly sarcastic replies from Loki and a word of mockery to torment me, a pleasant exchange to Thor and a snark at Loki; smiles all around.... To be honest, I don't know how it happened...Somehow, after lunch was served and we didn't have Thor to keep us playing nice, it just became a snark-off between Loki and I to see who was wittier. Well, eventually Loki got my goat.

Offended, but with no come-back, I gritted my teeth and returned to my plate.
Then "Let It Go" began to play over the speaker.

My face, ironically shared by Loki once, was this:

Rather then take the song's advice, I used it as my weapon.

I asked if either of them had watched Frozen... When Thor admitted that neither of them had, and inquired after what it was; I told them it was a beautiful story about two sisters reconnecting after a tragic secret tore them a part. The first sister had terrible insecurity issues and frosty powers she never told anyone about, until after having an argument with her sister, then ended up freezing the whole kingdom. The other sister, who is a bit of a dopey airhead, ends up befriending a weirdo (who had been raised by trolls) and his moose who help her find her sister, and it all ends on a frozen lake where the second sister becomes a statue while saving the first sister, whose heart is melted and the day saved. Ending my whole rant with a "Sort of like you guys!"

.....I was being funny.


They didn't get it. But they agreed it was the strangest thing they had ever heard of. I delivered the final blow with: "Yeah, parents hate it like you wouldn't believe. Still, your little tour of Midgard wouldn't be complete if I didn't subject you to it's madness."

Thus, I retrieved two phones, accessed the film online and let them watch. As you can see from the picture above, they were in the midst of it when I packed my doggie-bag and excused myself. I love how utterly focused they both seem to be, don't you? Hehehe!

Lloyd Out!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Why Has Lloyd Stopped Writing?

...Hey guys...

Sorry I haven't been keeping this blog up lately, I've just been really depressed with super hero work lately. You see, a lot of my team has gone off and gotten lives of their own now:
Genovia is in medical school,
Fairy is touring with Pegasus after having been hired as her fashion designer,
Lavender is off helping her family move across the country, and of course Thunderbird is with her.
Phoenix is paying call to all the MGAP kids; helping tutor the ones who are still interested in pursuing a super-life,
Dragon has gone back to her planet; looking to start dating,
Jack is doing his own thing, and Gryffin is off seeing if he can expand his super hero career by joining a new team..


So, I'm left by myself, reconsidering my position as a super hero..
Like i stated in my last post, it's not the same as what it used to be anymore: It's less about doing good and saving people, and more about getting glory and getting into fights..

Naturally I can't be, I don't even have a violent power.



.. Furthermore, it dawned on me that I am in my 20's and not married yet-- I'm not even dating! ..In fact, I haven't gone on more than two dates in my entire life... I'd like to attribute it to disinterest or laziness, but no, it's my super hero career:
I can't date a villain because they're all skank-weeds, haven't any standards to speak of, don't uphold my values, and are virtually not even worth thinking about. I can't date a normal guy because I'm under constant super-heroing pressure and would probably miss all our dates thanks to cruel irony and some psycho with a plasma ray. And I can't date a super-hero guy because basically EVERY super hero guy on the face of the Earth has kissed at least a million woman: villain, civilian, and fellow hero alike. It's really gross! 

...So what about simple retirement?
I lol'ed at that. Did you know that ABSOLUTELY NO super hero has ever retired peacefully? None of them! Super villains retire easily enough, but there doesn't seem to be any rest for a super hero.. Even if they pass the reigns to someone else, their old nemesis STILL comes back and finds them, probably kills/injures someone close to them, and continues their reign of terror without any logical reason to have done so!

Some heroes enter retirement, stay in it for maybe two years, then jump out of it again.. Probably leaving a wife and kid behind... So yeah!



Uhg!

.....
Okay, basically, this blog is not dead.. But I'm not writing on it so much anymore because my feelings about being a super hero are extremely mixed and negative right now. Sorry for the inconvenience. =/

Lloyd Out!

Monday, April 20, 2015

To Be A Hero..

You know something, being a super hero used to be a lot of fun, now it seems like my family and the gang are the only ones still in business. Yeah, I know, Batman and whonaut is still alive and kicking, but it's different somehow.

When I was little, being a superhero was about using your unique gifts and abilities to keep your fellow human beings safe, to accomplish the rescues normal people couldn't, and to stop the crime that would usually get away-- We wore the dopey gettups to protect our identities from super villains, and as an ode to those wrestler guys most folks used to look up to. Our cause was all in all a good one, a noble and frankly quite obvious one... But now, it doesn't seem like it's about that anymore.

Now days, it seems different... I dunno.
Nobody is sweating the small and really important stuff anymore. They're all about the next intergalactic threat or war, always fussing the political nonsense, and if they get really bored; the good guys will battle each other. It's no longer about the good you can do, it's about the glory you can get. The next world wide problem you can tackle that will bring in the most attention. That really makes me sad.

So yeah, I'm kinda upset... No funny stuff today. =(

Lloyd Out!

Friday, March 13, 2015

What's in a Super Name?

Superman, Spider-man, Iron Man, Batman, Wonder Woman, ect.
Despite the different wording and unique abilities of all these people, these names are each and every one basically the same thing: (Adjective/Object/Animal) and (Gender).

Thus is the curse of the media.

From the dawn of the super-powered era, most super names are given by the media, based on what your super powers, what your super-suit looks like, and what your gender is. For intense, the media knows me simply as: "Blue Girl" because for the longest time I was a powerless kid running around in a blue outfit. 

Despite the fact I had already chosen a name for myself under difficult circumstances, I didn't get a chance to sit down and talk to news reporters about it, thus for the longest time every citizen, super villain, and even my fellow heroes knew me as "Blue Girl" or "Blueberry".. For some people, I still haven't shaken it.

The subject of this post is the blunt stupidity of that stigma. It is the epitome of  judging a book by the cover. Here is a famous example of what we would be called if we all thought like the media and named ourselves after the obvious:


I would be Black&White Striped Couch Arm.
....Sooooo not happening..

Lloyd Out!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

"Chronic Hero Lingo" AKA "The Thing That Wouldn't Shut Up"

As I've progressed in my super hero career, I've noticed that in certain situations, there are things that just have to be said: Noble things that get the villain to stop and think, encouraging things to keep a fellow hero from giving up, true things as a final goodbye or to clear up a misunderstanding, and heroic things that bring tears to the eyes and the fire of determination to the heart. Each of these things have their own scenario and effect.

I've also noticed there are things that don't need to be said, but that the monologue-prone villain inadvertently leaves himself open for: A sarcastic comment, a sassy remark, or an obvious question that makes the villain look stupid even to himself. This is called "Hero Lingo" because EVERY super hero does it at least once in their life. Sometimes these quips are really funny and help lighten the mood, but it can be overdone, and I'm afraid it often is.


That's when it becomes "Chronic Hero Lingo" or rather "The Thing That Won't Shut Up", of which there are 3 stages.

Now, this wouldn't be a fair evaluation if I didn't admit to having Stage 3 Chronic Hero Lingo, or "CHL3" for myself. This is the inability to say nothing when I feel awkward or threatened. In fact, it subconsciously seems as though it would be more painful to say nothing, while Penguin is pointing his poison-spewing umbrella at my face, then to say something about his curious choice in weapons or randomly inquire about why he chose an adorable flightless bird as his alter ego. Even if he retaliates by poisoning me with it, or simply jabbing me in the nose with the ferrule, it wasn't nearly as bad as letting the moment pass in tense silence.


Basically, Stage 3 CHL is spouting off comically in reference to a completely random or even unrelated subject in order to lighten a tense moment.

Due to my arachnophobia, I've never personally met Spider-Man, but I've seen him in action and have determined that he is afflicted with the worst case of Stage 2 Chronic Hero Lingo or "CHL2" I have ever seen! His is the problem of talking, and talking, and talking and talking and talking and talking.. Whenever anyone says or does anything-- ANYTHING AT ALL, he has got to comment on it. He can't help it. He can't even let a sneeze go by without antagonizing the sneezer...


Stage 2 CHL is joking about everything that happens between you and your enemy, whether your on top of the situation or under it.

IronMan is the prime example of Stage 1 Chronic Hero Lingo, or "CHL1". This is the worst possible stage of CHL! His mouth is so terribly afflicted with movement, he even sasses his fellow heroes. I should know, I was witness to his motor-mouth while on the Helicarrier with him and the other Avengers during Loki's Fish-Bowl Days. He literally had NOTHING helpful to offer at all until the Last. Possible. Second-- When things were serious enough that a look could kill.


Stage 1 CHL is antagonizing everyone with mockery, making those around you feel like dirt for your own amusement.. It's basically like bullying.

The effect of each of these stages speak volumes for themselves:
CHL3 is more often than not seen as funny, it succeeds in not only making you feel better, but making on-lookers more comfortable and sometimes even getting a smile (or a chuckle) out of your enemy.  

CHL2 is more often than not seen as annoying, it could very easily get a burst of laughter out of on-lookers, but after a while it starts to grate and folks get tired of hearing it. It always annoys your enemies and makes them hate your guts worse and worse each passing second. 

CHL1 is unfailingly seen as being a snotty jerk, it might earn a few admirers of your quick wit, but absolutely everyone else just wants to slap you upside your head with a metal frying pan.

So now that you know, try reflecting on who does Hero Lingo right, and who does it wrong.


Lloyd Out!